“Learn to love again”
Just give me a reason, just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars, it’s been written in the scars on our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again-A song by P!NK ft. Nate Ruess
I was writing a post that I have yet to publish regarding the current limbo of my heart. As I typed the last few lines, my clairaudience chimed in loudly, “we’ll come clean…”. The last line to the climax of P!NK’s song “Just give me a reason” and then the chorus begins.
So what does my heart want?
Without giving too much away, my heart along with my mind has been in a confusing state. A period of limbo as I stated in the unpublished writing. I have a chance to be embraced by love’s splendor; not a shell or coated casing, but possibly something more rooted and authentic. I say possibly because my mind challenges and questions to a level set to torture.
I know what I want from a loving and healthy relationship but I also don’t want to fall down the path of being deceived by another party or my own mind. We can sometimes have the tendency to see beyond what’s blatantly in front of us, wishing and imagining for more than is visible.
So what does my heart want? What is it that calls to her unfulfilled tolls? “we’re not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again.” Do I wish to try again? One last time to see if I can get it right; to test my newfound awareness and lense on that which is love.
…but how do I learn to love again
To try again was not a question in my younger years but now that I am older, I am done wasting my time on what if’s and half-ass promises. I want more than the frosting and no, I am not ok with less than 10 cups! (tarot related) Does this place me in the pool of slim pickings? No, it puts me in a class of those who know themselves well enough to not settle for what depletes their mind, body, and soul. I’m not looking for society’s “better”, I’m waiting for the key to my heart and the fertilization to keep it going.
This goes beyond puppy love or the excitement of a few dating weeks because ultimately I want a solid partnership.
A partnership takes work and a whole different kind of mindset. It takes patience, understanding, communication, vulnerability, encouragement, and so much more. This is how I learn to love again. My heart and emotions have always been there but now it’s time to expand from what I’ve known into something unfamiliar. It’s time to explore the forest of love's magic and be open to more than one type of love. It’s time to step out of my knucker hole and walk the grassy knoll. The unknown has possibilities and treacherous terrain but how will I find what I’m looking for if I don’t take the chance….right?
…and that dear readers is the scary part.
Thanks for reading